Dear God,
I know I’m not a frequent visitor to your house every week, but since I have nothing to write right now, I thought I would drop you a line, I’m not quite sure whether you even have the internet up there in heaven, I mean your the BIG MAN in charge of the wide world so why does the man who is in charge of the wide world, not also have the world wide web?. And you are bound to have plenty of electricity I mean you have thunderbolts up there, or are you feeling the crunch like the rest of us?.

My apologies, I seem to be asking a lot of questions and I know how busy you must be, what with running the world, answering prayers and what not. Maybe you should hire a secretary … maybe not.
But in all seriousness you must get mighty peeved when someone uses your name in vain i.e GOD ALL MIGHTY, FOR GOD SAKE, AW GOD.

Anyhow, your a busy man, places to go, people to smite and all that, so I’ll close by saying your doing a sterling job, maybe calm the beans with the terrorists, we all need crackpots but lets limit them to one every solar system, maybe try to do something about poverty and famine if you can like, i know we have Sir Bob Geldof but he is but one man and quite frankly I think he is trying to look like you more and more every day. Finally could you do us all a favour and get rid of that infernal Scottie McClue, his act is as tired and woren as Paddington Bear, I don’t want you to do away with him, just you know make him disappear from the airwaves.

Well that’s me, I have to go now, thanks for the chat and well if you are ever in the neighbourhood, look me up.

All the best, your faithful servant (kinda)
Brett

based upon the blog entry Dear God written by Chris of ThatGuyOverThere.com

Ah, Neil, Neil, Neil, what can I say about him, well I guess first off he is a colleague of mine at work, is openly bi-sexual and everyone has a bit of a “fun” poke at that, of course Neil is a good sport and takes it on the chin (lord this blog is going down the pan rapidly, two near innuendos and it’s only the third line lol) anyway, Neil is a great laugh and you can rely on him to cheer you up, i’d also call him a friend and that is something I am seriously lacking right now at work as I just do not feel like I have connected to anyone else in there, i feel its a case of them versus me because I am the new guy but of course you aren’t there to make friends which yes I know this but it is nice if you can goto work and have some select people you could call “friends” for example at the centre (where I worked before) I could probably count on both hands people I could call a friend (mind you the rotters never came to my leaving do so not so sure now about that one).

So, anyhoo back to Neil, we were having a bit of a laugh and well since it is work, he got what he was needing from the cupboard and then returned to where he was working, i did the same but as I was leaving i thought i saw Neil heading towards the freezers, so I foolishly wolf whistled at him just as a joke AS A JOKE!

TO MY HORROR IT WAS ONE OF THE OTHER BLOKES THAT LOOKS A BIT LIKE HIM FROM BEHIND (insert red faced smiley here) luckily the guy took it in good humour and shouted back thank you lmao. (what a sport)

WHIT A PLACE, I THINK MY MIND AND SEXUALITY HAS BEEN CORRUPTED ALREADY, mind you it’s only taken 2 months.

As visitors to my official website you are getting the priviledge to get an exclusive first look at the new fownage.com/.co.uk services as they are being built and tested.

So first up is the new look Fownage Internet, the site is in the process of being built and users of BMOS may recognise the background hmmmm.

www.fownage.com/internet